Rat Chase

Being a child was beautiful. Those were fun times. There were ups and downs but, have no doubt that whenever I look back to how we were, I'd always end up smiling foolishly.

...and this is how we became rat hunters. We were always hungry because the cooks at home made food that tasted like poison. Mum was hardly home to cook. So The food at home was always either too soft (watery) or hard (almost raw) and since we had time, We took the hunting really seriously.


Mum bought a new deep freezer. NEPA kinda knew because that was when they chose to seize power for over a year. We unconsciously turned the freezer into a table, bookshelf and a perfect hide and seek spot. Finally, rats also saw it as a home and built their mansions in it. One could see generations of rats gathered around their tables.

It worked perfectly for us. We fed them our clothes, books and food crumbs. We would go around after mass collecting bulletins to feed our meat-to-be. And every Saturday, we would take a peek at them to see if any was 'ripe' for eating. Whew! It was mighty amazing!

It was one of those long vacations that got the house so full with cousins and family friends. We fed our rats and waited patiently for the holiday to be almost over so we could harvest and have ourselves a feast. That day finally came. As usual, Peace headed the troupe of soldiers. She dished out the rules of engagement - DO NOT KILL THE BABY RATS. YOU GET THE HEAD OF ANY RAT YOU KILL. She said it like a million times so we could understand the importance. She then sent us out to every nook and crany of the house to block all viable rat escape routes. And finally, with so much care, we pushed the deep freezer to the centre of the room then gathered around it with sticks and brooms.

Peace then pulled off the carton that covered the fridge, releasing all the rats in different directions. Gboom! Kom! Daam! Boom!....different sounds as weapons made impact with either the floor or a rat. We also added our own little screams here and there to punctuate our excitement.

....one down... five down... six down...it was a nice hunt. Just when we thought we were done for the day, the biggest of all rats in history sluggishly crawled out of the fridge. Hey! We went after it. But somehow, we all surrounded our victim and chose that tiny split of a minute that it could escape to wonder if our sticks were hard enough to kill it. And just like the Jackie Chan movies, the rat ran towards me. I lifted my stick and hit it over and over again and with every hit, my cousin, Tolu, screamed. She must be really excited, I thought. My other cousins dropped their weapons and rallied around her. I wanted to ask what was going on but the rat was more important to me. Surprisingly, the rat was nowhere to be found.

Hian! Didn't I just pound it severally? I kept wandering the whole place looking for it when Peace, pulled me by the ear towards my cousin. I screamed in pain wondering what I did wrong.

"See! See what you did!", she shouted pointing at Tolu's head
Lo and behold, her head was swollen at several points making her look like a mini dragon. I did that? How?
"Why did you hit her with your stick?", Peace screamed
Me? When? Omg! Was she the rat? My God! I really need to ask mum to get me a new pair of glasses. Poor Tolu. I was sober and sad. Jire then pressed really hard on each of the swells but that didn't help. I sat beside her and said sorry like a million times while the rest cleared the scattered house.

"I must kill the rat that caused all this ", Peace declared. Ghen ghen! She searched everywhere scattering what the rest just arranged. They didn't complain. Afterall, she is the boss and she was on a good cause. I still sat dutifully beside Tolu when Peace came back with the rat. She assured Tolu that she (Tolu) gets to eat the head and tail of the troublesome rat.

We then gathered the rats for cooking. It was a simple process. Roast to remove all the hair, butcher to remove all the intestines, spice and boil to taste and finally, fry! It was better fried with red oil than groundnut oil so as not to loose the traditional feeling (whatever that meant).

Just as we got ready to share and eat our delicacy, our neighbours arrived. Fisayo, pearls and Jemaima. Aha! In the neighborhood where I grew up, there were plenty 'tuush' people We couldn't afford to be called rat eaters so we hid the rats hoping they would leave soon so we could continue with our fun.

"I smell fried goat meat", Fisayo said
Na wa o!
"Me too", me and Jire replied like backup singers .
"We don't have goat meat. It must be the neighbours", Peace replied. "Let's play hide and seek" (all in a bid to distract Fisayo and her siblings). We all, except Fisayo, agreed.
"I still smell goat meat", she said again
We heard you the first time. Mtchew! Can you just leave the goat alone.


She quickly dashed towards the kitchen and before we could stop her, she found the plate of rat meat. She screamed and dropped the plate nearly throwing our hard labour away.
"What is this? Rat? You people eat rat? Hei!!", she screamed and screamed. To rub in her point, she ran outside and spat severally. The entourage (her siblings) joined her. She had this disgusted look on her face that made me think if truly we should eat the rat. When her drama died down, she then decided that we play hide and seek (now she wants to play?).
"Hide", I shouted and everyone ran off to hide. Before I closed my eyes to count to ten, I saw Fisayo run to the kitchen (where would she hide there? Plate, basket?).
"....eight, nine, ten! I am coming!"

I found everyone before I went after Fisayo. Hers was easy cos there was nowhere to hide in the kitchen. As I entered, she was cleaning off something from her mouth. I could have sworn it was red oil but I have a poor eyesight. I can't afford to accuse her unless I was doubly sure. Just as I screamed FOUND YOU, she said they were going and they left.

We finally sat to eat only to find Tolu's trophy gone. All eyes rested on me. I didn't eat it! I didn't eat it! Peace slapped my head severally then handed my share over to Tolu.
"I didn't eat it! I didn't...", I kept saying through tears
"You were the only one that went to the kitchen ", Peace said. I was about to say "Fisayo too" but Jire did. (thank God I wasn't the only one that saw her go into the kitchen) She then called me aside and gave me part of her share. Tolu too gave me out of her's (or mine)

Before our parents came back, we cleaned the house, took our baths and gave Tolu a face cap to wear to cover all the lumps.

Happy new month y'all!

My Crush

The day was really beautiful! Thankfully, all I've got to do was work half day (it was a public holiday; don’t know why but I'm grateful for it) after which I'll go home for a well deserved sleep!

I whistled all the way today! Passengers in the same bus with me would think I won a lottery or better still, a husband! As I got to the office, I happily said “hi” to all the walls! I was just happy jare! Why wouldn't I? Four hours! That's all I needed!

I finished in good time and stepped out to head home. And that was when I saw him!

Wow! Wow! Wow! You again! For six months, I've watched him walk past me every lunch time at the cafe. Just for tiny seconds that mean the world to me! He's handsome! Oh la la! Wish you could see me as a write this because i'm blushing down to my intestines! He's cute! His eyes reminds me of the ocean- beautiful and endless! His body, perfect (to my specs though) his touch, so warm (ehmmmm . . .that was just in my head)! All I can say is that him walking by me every day makes life perfect!

I don’t know who he is! Ghost or human, I don’t know but there he was walking towards me!

You again! My God! She's beautiful! So quiet- i think! She says 'hi' in the most tender way! So shy! She's got that aura, that simplicity! Sweetness...

And then he said “h”i and asked me where I was going! My head swelled and swirled! I told him, nervously. Woe betide the person that mistakenly wakes me up from this dream! He opened the door for me! For me! Wow! As I stepped into the car, hot breeze met me! I nearly jumped out of the car! Where did he park the car? Hell fire? Gosh! Well! A range rover sport should have an AC! If it didnt, I won't mind going through the heat for my cream dude!

I have to use the AC for this babe! Chai! I didn't plan to! The fuel in this car can barely take me home to GRA and now I have to drive all the way to BDPA to drop her! Can't believe I'm this whipped! I offered a silent prayer to God that this car won't stop us in the middle of the road and with a clenched teeth, I put on the AC.

We had not even gone half way the journey when the cold started! My thick jacket suddenly felt like chiffon. I folded my hands hoping to protect myself from the cold! For where! I argued with myself whether to tell him to turn the air condition off or not. He would think I'm a village girl! I kept my mouth shut and hoped my head won't crack like ice!!

As we made small talk, I kept looking at the fuel gauge! God please help me! It was going down in gulps! To shake off my tension, I decided to play music forgetting that the only CD in the car is Akanchewa! Worse still, the player came on on its highest volume. From the corner of my eyes, I saw her smile! Damn! That smile could make thorns look like roses. For some minutes, I forgot about the fuel draining so fast!

What the heck? Who plays Akanchewa? Inside range rover sport? Dude! Chai! Your handsome can't cover up this one! I tried so hard not to laugh out loud! I sang along though just to pretend I love his foolish taste in music. Then, the car jerked like it was about to stop! I looked at him but it was as if he didn't notice. That must have been in my head, I guess.

Dear God, save me from this mess and I'll love you forever! The fuel has finished but for some miracle, the car kept moving! I almost stopped at a filling station but there was no kobo in my pocket or bank account too! Almost there! Almost there! At least I'll park the car in the filling station! I didn't bother telling her that I wanted to buy fuel. I feared that any word I say would make the car quench and stop! I parked on a queue and asked her if she could drive. She said yes and I asked her to drive the car to the service point when its our turn so I could quickly pick some food! (Food ko! I wanted to go to Mr Biggs and pray to God for a miracle) I asked her what she wanted and she said nothing! Thank God!!!!!!

Did I just say I know how to drive? Hahahaha! Ok o! I'll soon park this car on top of the pumping machine. The only driving I ever did was running my dad's already bashed car into a tree. Hope he has insurance! Hahaha!

I sat down and thought about how stupid I was! Geez! Of all the days I chose to behave like a horny school boy, I chose today! I laughed at myself! I wondered what I'll use and pay for the fuel! Just as the attendant put the nuzzle into the fuel tank, a better part of me wanted to run out screaming STOP but haba, not with this fine babe na! I can't! I’d rather abandon my car!!

He didn't tell me how much fuel he wanted but I had 2k to spare! That was what I planned for cab. Where's he? Maybe the food he wanted was on transit. I sha paid and parked the car by the side of the wall! Someone's horn blared behind me saying I should park well! Sorry, oga, I can't do more than this! Oh! Thank God! There he comes!!

I saw her drive like she was about to leave! I rushed out before my no-money-situation turns to no-car-and-trek-home-situation. She moved over to the passenger's side and asked why I didn’t buy the food. I lied that they didn't have what I wanted! The puzzled look on her face said it all! Liar!! I asked her how much fuel she bought and she said 2k! Haha! I brought out my empty wallet like I wanted to give her the money! She asked me not to worry! My miracle finally happened.

For some reason, he became livelier! That Mr Biggs food aroma must have it effects! Good for him! An hour of sitting under the blaring AC had its own effects on me! Plenty air was in my stomach! I was uncomfortable! If I were at home, a simple loud fart would have saved the day but I was seated with a handsome dude I'm tripping for! A miracle, Lord, is all I ask! I squeezed my ass hole tight! Please don't come out now! I fear you would be loud and smelly!

Ehmmmm...I don’t know if I did something wrong but she had some stress looks on! She gave a one word reply to everything I said! I asked if she was ok and she replied with that pretty smile! Damn!!

Hold on, Nkem, you are home! He parked at my gate and we sat and talked for some minutes (or hours! E don do oga! I wan mess!) He asked me to sit tight while he opens the door for me! Wow!

My door refused to open! I tried again! This car has started again! It has this fault where all the doors jam and open only when it so pleases them! Not today, dear doors! I nervously smiled at her and she smiled back! Damn!! The only remedy would have been to wind down the window on her side and open the door from the outside but today, the window jammed too! Wow! Mine was down but the door couldn't be opened from the outside!

What the...? Not now! I have to fart! I need to fart! Please do something to your doors! Incantations! Biko! Abracadabra! Do something! I asked him to move to the back while I climb out through the window! He said he would climb out with me! Whatever dude!

She was in a huge hurry! Maybe she has a phobia for jammed doors! This window climbing is not a small something o! It took me 5 minutes to make it out! I apologised like a million times!

I couldn't possibly climb out head first! It has to be legs first! I didn't trust my ass hole to hold back this mess calamity! Heavens please! A little crowd had already built to watch! A step at a time girl! Just as I thought I've made it, I slipped and amidst screams, it came out in its full regalia very loud and clear! Right on his face! When I got my footing, I said a quick thank you and went away! I ran upstairs and peeped through the window and watched as he kicked and cursed his car! He climbed back in through the window and drove off!!
For days, I avoided going for lunch so I don't run into him.

We shared our first kiss five months, three weeks, two days and some hours later!! Lol
*winks*

I'm pregnant.

PING!!!

Junior, I'm pregnant. How do they do this abortion thing.

Junior took a while to reply. He finally did with a surprise smiley. Just answer the question damn it! How do they do this abortion thing. "When did you start having sex? I thought you were gonna wait a while eh nne? You're just 16. I could only imagine the confused and disappointed look on his face.

It's the end of the session. Thank God! We finally get to leave this shit hole called a school. I wondered how we even managed to keep our sanity staying in this cage for months. I always hated private universities. But my post UME score wasn't high enough to get me into a government school.
It took my bus 5 million years to get full after dragging my heavy boxes to the park.

I was super excited. Not just because I was living the prison yard called school, but because of Kosi. Choi! The mere sound of his name sef felt like the presence of the holy spirit. I remember the day I met him. It was on instagram; one of those mystery cute guys that send a direct message requesting to meet me. I got that all the time so there was really no biggy except for the fact that this particular cute guy (Kosi) asked for my number. The other guys usually ask for my pin. This instantly turned me on because I feel it takes a special kind of interest to make a guy ask for your number, load his phone and and call you for 20minutes. That's how long we talked when he called. " hello, I'm Kosi. You gave me your number 2 days ago on ig. Remember?" his voice was/still is the lightest male voice I've ever heard; quite girly but extremely soothing and so damn romantic. He was 26. Almost 10years my senior. That is exactly how I liked it. I always had interest in older guys. Couldn't stand guys my age anyway. I fell in love at once. I couldn't wait to tell my rommies about the latest catch.

1month and a few days later, he took some time off work to come visit me.

Aha!!! The last passenger, finally! Or so I thought. I looked at him like a Messiah as he approached the bus, shifted inside to make room for the messiah. Then he walked right passed the bus.

'madam how you dey sell your corn'

Ewo! Took me an hour to recover from that disappointment. We got on the road after another 5million years. I got to the hotel were we planned to lodge. That hotel room happens to be the creepiest and most dingy room I have ever slept in but who cares, when I was going to meet my mystery cute guy. I waited for what seemed to be forever for him to show up. I counted the ceiling severally and started imagining how the carpenters climbed to fix it, how there was this ugly art work on the table, how my small dead body could fit into the closet if Kosi turned out to be a killer, I quickly turned on my laptop before I thought up something crazier.
Finally his call came in. "Baby there's a chicken republic close to me, should I get us some food? I just got down from the bus" No thanks I replied. In my mind: 'Just bring your fine ass here already' we'd get food here. I regretted that decision because hunger almost killed me later. What was I thinking getting food from that kind of hotel.

He was everything I hoped for and more. So handsome and way taller than he looked in pictures. I was scared his lips were too big for his face but it turned out that he was just not photogenic, cos his lips were perfect. He was perfect.
I recognized him instantly when I saw him. He grinned from ear to ear showing off cute dimpled cheeks. I looked down at my toes when ever he looked at me. I decided to buy some alcohol to boost my confidence. Woke up the next morning not knowing exactly how the night went. We made out of course but I was too drunk to remember how it felt. Well we both went back home. Communication reduced after that day. It was scary but I wasn't so bothered because the hype for Kosi had dwindled. I still liked him but my feelings for him was different now.

He asked if I had seen my period on one of his calls. I replied "no". He asked a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th time. I had missed my period but I wasn't bothered at all. Why should I be? I'm a virgin. I only wondered why he kept asking. I always joked about it though until I woke up to a BBM message; someone dreamt I was pregnant. That's when the shit hit the turbine! I told Kosi, he said I should go do a test.
Damn! How do I go to a public place as small as I am and ask for a PGT?! But I didn't have sex, did he take advantage of me that night? But if he did I would know na, abi? Why was I so stupid to get drunk? My dad will disown me. Omg! Omg! Omg!

My paranoia worsened when I woke up the next morning and started throwing up. Ha! Who doesn't know that throwing up is the first sign of pregnancy. Even if you have never heard, Nkiru Sylvanus would have told you in one of her very many disgusting throw up Nollywood scenes.
I had to talk to someone. Junior is an eye doctor but he's the only one I trust with my secret. I told him everything. He said I'm probably just experiencing a delay but I should take a PGT to confirm and abortion wasn't the first thing to think of. I remembered Jesus. I prayed like Paul and Silas.

I mustered some courage to go take the test at the farthest clinic from my house to avoid running into familiar faces. In fact the clinic was in another planet. As I waited I prayed every kind of prayer. Then someone tapped me as I stood up. Oh no! Chai! Who could this be naaa! my heavenly father.
'Babe you're stained' huh? You're stained. She said again. Really? I replied with a smile ( she must have thought I was some lunatic but I couldn't care more) I ran to the bathroom. Usually this would ruin my day but I have never been happier to see my period. I was practically flaunting it sef.

I told junior the story. He laughed at me and said he was already going to name my baby Chioma.
I will never go close to the male species again, or so I thought!

Have a great weekend.

For Michael

Pop legend Michael Jackson died on June, 25th, 2009 at the age of 50. He left us forever but his outstanding contribution as an entertainer remains- his feverish songs, dance moves and ever changing image will live in most minds of the world.

In memory of Michael Jackson, one of the most charming entertainers in the last century and my personal favourite celebrity of all time, here I collected series of wallpapers mirroring his gold days of music. 

Ok Jackson Fans, hope you soak it up like a spongbub!

  

May Michael live long in our hearts.......

It rocks to be clueless

When we was younger, we were naïve. Super naïve.

We jumped into the pool and didn’t care whether we could swim or not.

We threw ourselves into the challenge not caring whether we could master it or not.

Mummy told us she would get an air plane for us on her way back from work and we believed heartily.

We was naïve, and yeah, maybe a bit reckless. But at least we had guts and went for the fun.

And then we grew up

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

This is when the shit hit the turbine: 

Lame-ass decisions because we was playing it safe.

No more stepping into the unknown, because we “Knew better”.

Both life and work and hit the iceberg, because our so-called maturity kept us away from making unreasonable decisions – the ones you make when you are completely clueless.

A lot of our favorite role models are clueless & naïve as well. Steve Jobs thought he could make a dent in the universe with Apple. Ridley Scott

thought he could change the film industry by creating worlds no one has entered before. Or how about Richard Branson ? I believe he’s the PRIME example of

being completely clueless but going for it anyways:

He started a newspaper in his teens and had no clue about it

He entered the ultra-competitive airline biz WITHOUT knowing a damn thing about it

He launches dozens of new products and companies, not knowing whether they will succeed or not

The only difference between you and these super achievers is that they cherished cluelessness and took massive action to see what the “other side” was all about.

Being clueless is ass-kicking because it’s opening doors faster than the concierge at the 4 seasons. Here's 3 obvious reasons why i say so:

1) You don’t kill yourself with worries.

Boy, isn’t that a big one. The human species deserves triple credit for making life miserable by fearing things that usually never happen. You know the usual suspects na abi:

What if this goes wrong ?

What if I won’t make it ? What if … what if ?

All of this is…garbage.

Garbage that a clueless person doesn’t carry because worrying isn’t simply on his menu.

If you don’t know what will happen, why would you worry about it ?

Exactly.

2) You see opportunity everywhere.

Instead of saying, ehhh, that will never work, or that woman will never fall for me, you JUST GO FOR IT. Who knows what will happen ? Are you Jesus ? NO ? Good, me neither. So let’s try that new dish, act on that 

new possibility, ask that smoking burning chick OUT.

You can not predict the future. Or the next moment. (If you can, tell me how). So the only choice you got is to step into the unknown and see it for yourself.

And remember: People always regret what they didn’t do, never the brave actions they DID.

OPPORTUNITY. EVERY. WHERE.

3) You will succeed.

No matter what you set out to do, being clueless like a child will help you get it. Yep, I truly believe that. Here’s why:  

You want to go somewhere. Achieve something. You have no clue how to do it, and people (evil naysayers to be more specific) will block your way and tell you it can’t be done because of this and that, you can't get that first class in school, you can't create a million dollar biz for yourself

and bladi bladi boo.

F&¿k them. You have no clue. You have to see it yourself.

And that means taking the first step and trying new awesome things. You never back down, because the future is a shiny ocean of endless opportunities. You try this, it doesn’t work, grrreat, now you try that. What will happen ? Screw it. You don’t know, that’s why you do it. But if you take massive action, you will get massive experience, and massive experience will help you dominate anything you’d like to dominate 

4.) You're always optimistic (The belief factor)

Your faith should be more like your childhood memories of

Christmas.

Quaint, a little naïve. Remember Christmas Eve growing up. It was the

most amazing night of the whole year. Because of the stories told about christmas. It was magical and fun all the way.

Seeing the magic like a child and being optimistic really doesn't hurt anyone. You got nothing to loose but everything to gain.

While the “reasonable” person is finding stories on why he doesn’t get what would like to have, the clueless person is busy reaping the rewards because she was “dumb” enough to jump into the river of opportunities.

Get it ? You cultivate a beginner’s mind – everything’s becomes a possibility that’s WAITING to become fulfilled. Amen to that!

And with clueless I don’t mean stupid biko: Don’t throw yourself into an insane situation that could either break you or your financial life. That’s just freaking dumb. Being clueless in my sense is not about being reckless, it’s all about  being open to new and great opportunities wherever they arise.

Wrapping it all up

If you want to do things that no one else is doing, you have to think things that no one else is thinking.

embracing everything that life’s throws at you with insane gusto.

To hell with passion!

You read it everywhere: Blogs, guide books. Hell! Every kind of media you ever come in contact with tells you:

If you want to be successful at something, you HAVE to be passionate.

And I say BULL-shit !

For too long, I have believed this lie. Not only is this the most-overused word like…EVER! no, it’s also complete bullocks. If you have been told that passion will get you anywhere, and you’ve wondered why you have gotten NOWHERE, then we gotta create a new mindset which is my stuck in trade.

Here’s what I mean:

The last two months have been the MOST productive ones EVER, and I mean ever with capital E.

Because I work on the things I'm supposed to be doing everyday, 10-14 hours, get a good night sleep (sometimes no sleep at all) and start the fire all over again.

Is it because I’m so passionate ? No. It’s because I’m MAD AS HELL.

I was passionate once. I looked at my stats, and I saw that I wasn’t nearly at the level I wanted to be. I look at other people in my niche, and I see how far ahead they are, (some of my mates already have successful careers)

I see their stuff, and I scream: F&$K that.  I can do what they’re doing, and I can do it BETTER. Fire started burning in me, and I felt stronger than a thousand suns.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

My anger turned into insane productivity, and I’m achieving more in one week than I did in one month before. Not because of passion, but because I let wrath consume my body, and I’m enjoying every bit of it.

Sounds like I’m a crazy mofo, but if you look at history, you will see similar examples.

Martin Luther King didn’t start his revolution by being passionate. He didn’t wake up and say: Mmm, I don’t really like how black people get treated in this country (USA), thank god I’m so passionate – I want to change that !

Zzzzzz. That’s not how he mobilized the whole country. If you read his bio, and look at his speeches, you will see that he was mad. Mad as hell.

He was FED UP with the racism in America. He couldn’t take it anymore that black people were treated like shit, and that’s what fueled his crusade. In his last year, he was so restless friends said he could NOT relax: He jumped from one speech to another, spread his message and gathered huge, and I mean HUGE crowds. Martin Luther King was tense until his LAST breath.

Let’s face it – It’s the angry people that change the world. And who cares about changing the world – if you just want to change your world you have to accept the fact:

Balance won’t get you anywhere.

Happy, passionate “I feel so good & comfy” people don’t do SHIT. And why should they ? There’s no pressure, no tension telling them to make stuff happen. Why would you move your lazy ass if everything’s fine, not awesome, but fine ? Exactly, you wouldn’t move a finger. But if you were mad, the game would be different:

You’d say: hell, I don’t like my current situation, I HATE it, and I must change it. Only when you’re mad – when you feel that tension WITHIN you – will you move and work like crazy to achieve what you wanna achieve.

Yoda was wrong. (Yup! I said so) Anger doesn’t lead to the dark side, at least not when you’re channeling it into something constructive. Raw, vibrant anger is much stronger than passion.

So, instead of telling yourself garbage like “What am I passionate about?”, ask yourself: “What am I mad about ?” “How can I get really angry about my current life/situation/business/academic perfromance, how can I get MAD AS HELL ?” and once you’re in that energetic state, use it to get what you want and take massive action.
Now being passionate is ok but it's not nearly as productive as when your mad at a situation.

What do you fink? What’s fueling your drive ? What can you GET MAD about and just DO stuff?

HE WHO CONTROLS THE COOKIE CONTROLS THE GAME

Headsup: strong language up ahead.
Kids, please ask your parents for moral guidance ! Lol

So the question is, do men really respect Jumpoffs/easy women? Most men will tell you that the answer is no, although some may disagree. Honestly I think men “love” jumpoffs/easy women, because men like sex, but 9 times out of 10 they do not respect them enough in order to put them in the “Settle down with” category (I did my findings).

 There are some exceptions though, because some guys settle for less in order to achieve instant sexual gratification and they don’t mind dating/marrying these type of women either. However, I am not referring to those type of men in this post. So you may be wondering, what is an easy woman? Easy is throwing yourself at a man, giving it to them without them even having to put forth any effort, or just coming off as being desperate.

First, all the guys I talked to said "I wouldn’t put a jumpoff or easy woman in the “Settle down with” category because I believe there is a confidence/self esteem issue on their end. Your “boobies and butt” will not impress them that much ladies, you have to bring more to the table.

 Men who have things going for their selves along with confidence and self-worth, will not date or marry a woman who they consider easy or a jumpoff. Why? Because men do not respect things that come easy, but neither do women. Now there may be some women reading this and they may be wondering why some guys only call them to come over late night, never want to go out on dates with them or be seen in the public eye together, and only want to do things with them that relates to sex. The answer is that more than likely you are in the jumpoff category, and it is similar to a woman’s “friendzone” category, it’s hard to get out of. But anyways there are a lot of females around who believe that they can take a man away from his wife, girlfriend, or other women who he is involved with because she’s willing to give him ass quicker and easier; And according to her, her skills in bed are better than the women or woman who he is involved with. One thing that those women fail to realize is the fact that you can’t win a man over with sex. Even though you hang on the fan while you give it to him. Taking the man temporarily from his wife, girlfriend, or other women may be possible, but it will not be enough to keep them. I find it humorous when I meet a woman and she brags about how good her bedmatic skills are.

If you want a man to respect you, you have to carry yourself that way.  Most men would sleep with a woman who they know are constantly sleeping with other guys, most girls think sleeping with him will keep him. That’s a lie from the pit of hell. Sure some men may be wrapped around your fingers, but they will be wrapped around yours and other women as well.

Men respect a challenge from women. Not the phony “Playing hard to get” challenge, but a genuine challenge. A lot of women these days pretend to be a challenge, but most guys can see right through that. A female shouldn’t have to come off as stuck up, a snob, sadist, or a diva in order to be a challenge. (at least that's what I think) To most men, playing stuck up is actually a sign that your easy and using a cover up. So you may be wondering, what is a genuine challenge? To me A genuine challenge is a female who knows her worth, but does not go over board in order to prove that she does. A girl who's got a great personality. Friendly, classy, can hold an intelligent conversation, knows her self worth, confident, sexual, but not easy.


Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying being sexual or sleeping with a guy who you like is wrong. No because sleeping with a guy does not make you easy, but I am stating that men respect women who are not easy more than women who are. Sex can keep a man for a while. It's important but it's not everything. If you like do snake in the monkey shadow style, sex is just not enough to keep a man. To be respected and treated like girlfriend/wife material, carry yourself like it.

Thanks to my friends who helped me with this post by sharing their thoughts with me.