It rocks to be clueless

When we was younger, we were naïve. Super naïve.

We jumped into the pool and didn’t care whether we could swim or not.

We threw ourselves into the challenge not caring whether we could master it or not.

Mummy told us she would get an air plane for us on her way back from work and we believed heartily.

We was naïve, and yeah, maybe a bit reckless. But at least we had guts and went for the fun.

And then we grew up

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

This is when the shit hit the turbine: 

Lame-ass decisions because we was playing it safe.

No more stepping into the unknown, because we “Knew better”.

Both life and work and hit the iceberg, because our so-called maturity kept us away from making unreasonable decisions – the ones you make when you are completely clueless.

A lot of our favorite role models are clueless & naïve as well. Steve Jobs thought he could make a dent in the universe with Apple. Ridley Scott

thought he could change the film industry by creating worlds no one has entered before. Or how about Richard Branson ? I believe he’s the PRIME example of

being completely clueless but going for it anyways:

He started a newspaper in his teens and had no clue about it

He entered the ultra-competitive airline biz WITHOUT knowing a damn thing about it

He launches dozens of new products and companies, not knowing whether they will succeed or not

The only difference between you and these super achievers is that they cherished cluelessness and took massive action to see what the “other side” was all about.

Being clueless is ass-kicking because it’s opening doors faster than the concierge at the 4 seasons. Here's 3 obvious reasons why i say so:

1) You don’t kill yourself with worries.

Boy, isn’t that a big one. The human species deserves triple credit for making life miserable by fearing things that usually never happen. You know the usual suspects na abi:

What if this goes wrong ?

What if I won’t make it ? What if … what if ?

All of this is…garbage.

Garbage that a clueless person doesn’t carry because worrying isn’t simply on his menu.

If you don’t know what will happen, why would you worry about it ?

Exactly.

2) You see opportunity everywhere.

Instead of saying, ehhh, that will never work, or that woman will never fall for me, you JUST GO FOR IT. Who knows what will happen ? Are you Jesus ? NO ? Good, me neither. So let’s try that new dish, act on that 

new possibility, ask that smoking burning chick OUT.

You can not predict the future. Or the next moment. (If you can, tell me how). So the only choice you got is to step into the unknown and see it for yourself.

And remember: People always regret what they didn’t do, never the brave actions they DID.

OPPORTUNITY. EVERY. WHERE.

3) You will succeed.

No matter what you set out to do, being clueless like a child will help you get it. Yep, I truly believe that. Here’s why:  

You want to go somewhere. Achieve something. You have no clue how to do it, and people (evil naysayers to be more specific) will block your way and tell you it can’t be done because of this and that, you can't get that first class in school, you can't create a million dollar biz for yourself

and bladi bladi boo.

F&¿k them. You have no clue. You have to see it yourself.

And that means taking the first step and trying new awesome things. You never back down, because the future is a shiny ocean of endless opportunities. You try this, it doesn’t work, grrreat, now you try that. What will happen ? Screw it. You don’t know, that’s why you do it. But if you take massive action, you will get massive experience, and massive experience will help you dominate anything you’d like to dominate 

4.) You're always optimistic (The belief factor)

Your faith should be more like your childhood memories of

Christmas.

Quaint, a little naïve. Remember Christmas Eve growing up. It was the

most amazing night of the whole year. Because of the stories told about christmas. It was magical and fun all the way.

Seeing the magic like a child and being optimistic really doesn't hurt anyone. You got nothing to loose but everything to gain.

While the “reasonable” person is finding stories on why he doesn’t get what would like to have, the clueless person is busy reaping the rewards because she was “dumb” enough to jump into the river of opportunities.

Get it ? You cultivate a beginner’s mind – everything’s becomes a possibility that’s WAITING to become fulfilled. Amen to that!

And with clueless I don’t mean stupid biko: Don’t throw yourself into an insane situation that could either break you or your financial life. That’s just freaking dumb. Being clueless in my sense is not about being reckless, it’s all about  being open to new and great opportunities wherever they arise.

Wrapping it all up

If you want to do things that no one else is doing, you have to think things that no one else is thinking.

embracing everything that life’s throws at you with insane gusto.

To hell with passion!

You read it everywhere: Blogs, guide books. Hell! Every kind of media you ever come in contact with tells you:

If you want to be successful at something, you HAVE to be passionate.

And I say BULL-shit !

For too long, I have believed this lie. Not only is this the most-overused word like…EVER! no, it’s also complete bullocks. If you have been told that passion will get you anywhere, and you’ve wondered why you have gotten NOWHERE, then we gotta create a new mindset which is my stuck in trade.

Here’s what I mean:

The last two months have been the MOST productive ones EVER, and I mean ever with capital E.

Because I work on the things I'm supposed to be doing everyday, 10-14 hours, get a good night sleep (sometimes no sleep at all) and start the fire all over again.

Is it because I’m so passionate ? No. It’s because I’m MAD AS HELL.

I was passionate once. I looked at my stats, and I saw that I wasn’t nearly at the level I wanted to be. I look at other people in my niche, and I see how far ahead they are, (some of my mates already have successful careers)

I see their stuff, and I scream: F&$K that.  I can do what they’re doing, and I can do it BETTER. Fire started burning in me, and I felt stronger than a thousand suns.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!

My anger turned into insane productivity, and I’m achieving more in one week than I did in one month before. Not because of passion, but because I let wrath consume my body, and I’m enjoying every bit of it.

Sounds like I’m a crazy mofo, but if you look at history, you will see similar examples.

Martin Luther King didn’t start his revolution by being passionate. He didn’t wake up and say: Mmm, I don’t really like how black people get treated in this country (USA), thank god I’m so passionate – I want to change that !

Zzzzzz. That’s not how he mobilized the whole country. If you read his bio, and look at his speeches, you will see that he was mad. Mad as hell.

He was FED UP with the racism in America. He couldn’t take it anymore that black people were treated like shit, and that’s what fueled his crusade. In his last year, he was so restless friends said he could NOT relax: He jumped from one speech to another, spread his message and gathered huge, and I mean HUGE crowds. Martin Luther King was tense until his LAST breath.

Let’s face it – It’s the angry people that change the world. And who cares about changing the world – if you just want to change your world you have to accept the fact:

Balance won’t get you anywhere.

Happy, passionate “I feel so good & comfy” people don’t do SHIT. And why should they ? There’s no pressure, no tension telling them to make stuff happen. Why would you move your lazy ass if everything’s fine, not awesome, but fine ? Exactly, you wouldn’t move a finger. But if you were mad, the game would be different:

You’d say: hell, I don’t like my current situation, I HATE it, and I must change it. Only when you’re mad – when you feel that tension WITHIN you – will you move and work like crazy to achieve what you wanna achieve.

Yoda was wrong. (Yup! I said so) Anger doesn’t lead to the dark side, at least not when you’re channeling it into something constructive. Raw, vibrant anger is much stronger than passion.

So, instead of telling yourself garbage like “What am I passionate about?”, ask yourself: “What am I mad about ?” “How can I get really angry about my current life/situation/business/academic perfromance, how can I get MAD AS HELL ?” and once you’re in that energetic state, use it to get what you want and take massive action.
Now being passionate is ok but it's not nearly as productive as when your mad at a situation.

What do you fink? What’s fueling your drive ? What can you GET MAD about and just DO stuff?

HE WHO CONTROLS THE COOKIE CONTROLS THE GAME

Headsup: strong language up ahead.
Kids, please ask your parents for moral guidance ! Lol

So the question is, do men really respect Jumpoffs/easy women? Most men will tell you that the answer is no, although some may disagree. Honestly I think men “love” jumpoffs/easy women, because men like sex, but 9 times out of 10 they do not respect them enough in order to put them in the “Settle down with” category (I did my findings).

 There are some exceptions though, because some guys settle for less in order to achieve instant sexual gratification and they don’t mind dating/marrying these type of women either. However, I am not referring to those type of men in this post. So you may be wondering, what is an easy woman? Easy is throwing yourself at a man, giving it to them without them even having to put forth any effort, or just coming off as being desperate.

First, all the guys I talked to said "I wouldn’t put a jumpoff or easy woman in the “Settle down with” category because I believe there is a confidence/self esteem issue on their end. Your “boobies and butt” will not impress them that much ladies, you have to bring more to the table.

 Men who have things going for their selves along with confidence and self-worth, will not date or marry a woman who they consider easy or a jumpoff. Why? Because men do not respect things that come easy, but neither do women. Now there may be some women reading this and they may be wondering why some guys only call them to come over late night, never want to go out on dates with them or be seen in the public eye together, and only want to do things with them that relates to sex. The answer is that more than likely you are in the jumpoff category, and it is similar to a woman’s “friendzone” category, it’s hard to get out of. But anyways there are a lot of females around who believe that they can take a man away from his wife, girlfriend, or other women who he is involved with because she’s willing to give him ass quicker and easier; And according to her, her skills in bed are better than the women or woman who he is involved with. One thing that those women fail to realize is the fact that you can’t win a man over with sex. Even though you hang on the fan while you give it to him. Taking the man temporarily from his wife, girlfriend, or other women may be possible, but it will not be enough to keep them. I find it humorous when I meet a woman and she brags about how good her bedmatic skills are.

If you want a man to respect you, you have to carry yourself that way.  Most men would sleep with a woman who they know are constantly sleeping with other guys, most girls think sleeping with him will keep him. That’s a lie from the pit of hell. Sure some men may be wrapped around your fingers, but they will be wrapped around yours and other women as well.

Men respect a challenge from women. Not the phony “Playing hard to get” challenge, but a genuine challenge. A lot of women these days pretend to be a challenge, but most guys can see right through that. A female shouldn’t have to come off as stuck up, a snob, sadist, or a diva in order to be a challenge. (at least that's what I think) To most men, playing stuck up is actually a sign that your easy and using a cover up. So you may be wondering, what is a genuine challenge? To me A genuine challenge is a female who knows her worth, but does not go over board in order to prove that she does. A girl who's got a great personality. Friendly, classy, can hold an intelligent conversation, knows her self worth, confident, sexual, but not easy.


Please don't get me wrong. I'm not saying being sexual or sleeping with a guy who you like is wrong. No because sleeping with a guy does not make you easy, but I am stating that men respect women who are not easy more than women who are. Sex can keep a man for a while. It's important but it's not everything. If you like do snake in the monkey shadow style, sex is just not enough to keep a man. To be respected and treated like girlfriend/wife material, carry yourself like it.

Thanks to my friends who helped me with this post by sharing their thoughts with me.

These would make you go awww....

Identical twin sisters, both delivered their babies on the same day. One had a set of twins.

 How cute.

 Note from a Stranger to a stranger.

Guess what? They're meeting each other for the first time. This is how we should be.

Shades apart; Fraternal twins. One white, one black. Born to Ghanaian mum and German dad.

This picture gets me all the time. LOL....Caption this!

 Aww Baby. You better be worth it!

One of the most romantic and thoughtful proposals I've seen

Perhaps from the nicest person on earth.

Shout out to kids of the 90's who watched rugrates. Remember their names? This show instigated my love for babies.

Only if you've seen Fast and Furious 7! If you haven't seen that movie then you belong to the looser class.

Sai Buhari....Sai my mind

Congratulations Compatriots. 2015 election has been fun all the freaking way for me by clicking on likes of people's comment and laughing my ass off at funny bbm pictures and animation (Jegaquin for Orubebetysis) lol. I enjoyed it all  Wish we can rewind it again. This is the first election in my country I'm actually aware of, (I mean I was probably too busy playing EA sports with my brother to listen to political talk in the past) but judging from people's  keenness this year, talk and what I've read I think Nigerians have never been this ardent about their vote and the result. I'm really glad about our patriotism and level of participation. I mean, seeing women in Rivers state take to the streets crying for their votes to be counted melted my heart. We are beginning to realize that the power is in our hands, and once our leaders realize this too, a lot of corruption would be cobbed. We got the power people, yeah we do. We voted GEJ out. For the first time I can say nigerians are GRADUALLY getting delivered from sentiments and tribalism. I honestly thought it won't be possible to overthrow the present government but I'm impressed and amazed at the outcome. It was true and fair.

Kudos to President Goodluck Jonathan, for great sportsmanship and taking a bow honourably. 

To GMB, hat raised for him. He's tenacity has been epic! Fought hard for today's win. Wish you a peaceful rule.

Now I think it's plain tacky that some people have carried this thing as government work. Sorry your preferred candidate didn't win but please for pete's sake stop spreading hate speeches and fear about the next government. Please stop. These are the kind of things that start wars. Whatever will be will be. No amount of billions spent and hateful campaigns and propaganda can change what has happened. Things happen sometimes against our wish. Eventually, you'll be ruled for at least 4 years by the same man you've called a bigot, terrorist, boko haram commander, cattle rearer, illiterate, etc. It could be a bitter pill to swallow but you just have to live with that...

Even the president has accepted his loss by sending his opponent congratulatory messages. So please chill. Your ranting doesn't change the price of ijebu garri. Ok? instead pray for the new president elect. Put aside religion and tribalism. Support him and the country the best way you can, after all if GEJ won your salary won't increase. Same also goes to GMB's supporters, the insults are so not necessary. Show some

respect. 

So Brace yourself peeps, a new somebody has entered the arena. The hyped General marching at full throttle. 

Stomp stomp salute! 

Alas, the price of suya will reduce. Lol. 

Sai Buhari. Sai baba. Sai one Nigeria.

PS: I'm so gonna miss Dame Patience Jonathan- *tear*. . . . 

God bless Nigeria.

Happy New Nigeria!!!

POET'S CORNER

Beautiful piece by my friend ANITA EBOIGBE. She's a terrific writer, book author, movie director. Thanks for featuring on my blog. 

And oh she's 17.....

I am African, I know but would you rather beat me for it, or hate me. How long will I continue to strangle myself, hold my parents responsible and query my God for being African? My hair is black, my skin is black, my voice thick and my neck long but it doesn't change the fact that I am strong, bold and beautiful.

Take my hair as thick strands of binding cords that binds families and nations rather than whips of self defeat. Have a vision of my skin as black gold, priceless and full of life not as charred and dead to comfort. Make my voice a sound of wisdom and confidence and not as a cry of hunger or pain. Know that my long neck is not as a result of suffering but as a tool of foresight. INFERIOR, that's not my identity, its your ideology. 

You suck.

Not just a linkbait headline. Lol...(well maybe it is) I seriously mean it though. if you are a great God fearing guy with a kick-ass career, nice ride and your peers and the ladies don’t want to lick you alive. You suck.

Now here's where I'm coming from.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…No, scratch that, it was just around my street. I met up with a charming guy who was incredible at what he did. He wasn’t good, he was finger licking fire f-awesome. And yet, he had problems attracting females, and even if he did manage to attract them he never understood why they disappeared in a twinkle. Neither did I, until we met at a cafe, and I saw him writing an email to a babe. It was the worst email I’ve ever read. He used all the wrong words, was clueless about basic human psychology, lacked empathy in dealing with a woman's  heart. He was indeed a written train wreck. Which was strange, because the guy was fun to be around (sorta).

But judging from that email writing style, i imagined being with a guy like him! That sounded as pleasant as slaving away in a Russian prison camp in Siberia. Naked. Now first of all who on earth sends emails? Is it a job interview?  What happened to phone calls or more interactive social networks like bbm, whatsapp....I mean email to a girl you intend to take out on a date, and with such scruffy and pointless content.  Arghhh. Face / palm. And there he goes: nkem "Why do most girls never reply to my mails"
Me : “Because your toasting skills  makes Grumpy Cat sound like Mother Theresa on happy pills.”

Moving on! Why are good people so freaking boring!? Sometimes I feel like resetting the brains of these so called born again people with a sledgehammer. You get so overtly spiritual and delude yourself that you don't got blood in your veins. The evil minded doosh are out there, they are so much fun and they get the attention. They know how to hook us, how to make us happy even when there's nothing to be happy about, and how to make us come back for more by Just talking.

You meet someone who's successful, a gentle man, attractive and has a great smile and, best of all, he is straight! Then you feel as though he is too good to be true as if the universe handed you Mr. Perfect on a silver platter. At the same time there's a little problem, you feel nothing romantic toward him. No freaking spark. Then you find yourself pinning over your ex who dumped you for another woman. Pathetic! This may sound familiar to many of you. cannot figure out why the nice guys bore the f&%k out of you and how you can be so incredibly attracted to the guy that does not have his life together or avoids the word committed relationship like the Swine Flu.

Brothers/sisters be spontaneous, romantic and sexy. It's not a sin. Trust me! Paste a kiss on his/her forehead or cheek once in a while (it won't hurt). Look and smell nice. Educate yourself. Ask questions about the opposite sex, read books on dating and lifestyle, Just read. Enhance your vacabs. Use happy and positive words. Everyone loves people that can make'em laugh. I don’t mean positive like “YOU’RE ZE BEST GIRL EVER” or “let’z be happy”. Lol

With positive words, I mean words that you want him/her to picture, which is trickier than it sounds, hang out with your peers. Follow the trends. (wisely) Download bbm and whatsapp and skype like every one else. Watch Tv, Open a facebook account biko. Embrace your suckyness and move from level 1 to level 2, still sucking, but at least knowing why. Only then will you re-awake your hunger to suck less.

Disclaimer : Keep in mind that I’m not a guru here. so this is a never ending learning process for everyone.
Please share this message with people you care about, and add another dating/friendship tip that helps you communicate better with the opposite sex

I want to learn as well ;)