My Crush

The day was really beautiful! Thankfully, all I've got to do was work half day (it was a public holiday; don’t know why but I'm grateful for it) after which I'll go home for a well deserved sleep!

I whistled all the way today! Passengers in the same bus with me would think I won a lottery or better still, a husband! As I got to the office, I happily said “hi” to all the walls! I was just happy jare! Why wouldn't I? Four hours! That's all I needed!

I finished in good time and stepped out to head home. And that was when I saw him!

Wow! Wow! Wow! You again! For six months, I've watched him walk past me every lunch time at the cafe. Just for tiny seconds that mean the world to me! He's handsome! Oh la la! Wish you could see me as a write this because i'm blushing down to my intestines! He's cute! His eyes reminds me of the ocean- beautiful and endless! His body, perfect (to my specs though) his touch, so warm (ehmmmm . . .that was just in my head)! All I can say is that him walking by me every day makes life perfect!

I don’t know who he is! Ghost or human, I don’t know but there he was walking towards me!

You again! My God! She's beautiful! So quiet- i think! She says 'hi' in the most tender way! So shy! She's got that aura, that simplicity! Sweetness...

And then he said “h”i and asked me where I was going! My head swelled and swirled! I told him, nervously. Woe betide the person that mistakenly wakes me up from this dream! He opened the door for me! For me! Wow! As I stepped into the car, hot breeze met me! I nearly jumped out of the car! Where did he park the car? Hell fire? Gosh! Well! A range rover sport should have an AC! If it didnt, I won't mind going through the heat for my cream dude!

I have to use the AC for this babe! Chai! I didn't plan to! The fuel in this car can barely take me home to GRA and now I have to drive all the way to BDPA to drop her! Can't believe I'm this whipped! I offered a silent prayer to God that this car won't stop us in the middle of the road and with a clenched teeth, I put on the AC.

We had not even gone half way the journey when the cold started! My thick jacket suddenly felt like chiffon. I folded my hands hoping to protect myself from the cold! For where! I argued with myself whether to tell him to turn the air condition off or not. He would think I'm a village girl! I kept my mouth shut and hoped my head won't crack like ice!!

As we made small talk, I kept looking at the fuel gauge! God please help me! It was going down in gulps! To shake off my tension, I decided to play music forgetting that the only CD in the car is Akanchewa! Worse still, the player came on on its highest volume. From the corner of my eyes, I saw her smile! Damn! That smile could make thorns look like roses. For some minutes, I forgot about the fuel draining so fast!

What the heck? Who plays Akanchewa? Inside range rover sport? Dude! Chai! Your handsome can't cover up this one! I tried so hard not to laugh out loud! I sang along though just to pretend I love his foolish taste in music. Then, the car jerked like it was about to stop! I looked at him but it was as if he didn't notice. That must have been in my head, I guess.

Dear God, save me from this mess and I'll love you forever! The fuel has finished but for some miracle, the car kept moving! I almost stopped at a filling station but there was no kobo in my pocket or bank account too! Almost there! Almost there! At least I'll park the car in the filling station! I didn't bother telling her that I wanted to buy fuel. I feared that any word I say would make the car quench and stop! I parked on a queue and asked her if she could drive. She said yes and I asked her to drive the car to the service point when its our turn so I could quickly pick some food! (Food ko! I wanted to go to Mr Biggs and pray to God for a miracle) I asked her what she wanted and she said nothing! Thank God!!!!!!

Did I just say I know how to drive? Hahahaha! Ok o! I'll soon park this car on top of the pumping machine. The only driving I ever did was running my dad's already bashed car into a tree. Hope he has insurance! Hahaha!

I sat down and thought about how stupid I was! Geez! Of all the days I chose to behave like a horny school boy, I chose today! I laughed at myself! I wondered what I'll use and pay for the fuel! Just as the attendant put the nuzzle into the fuel tank, a better part of me wanted to run out screaming STOP but haba, not with this fine babe na! I can't! I’d rather abandon my car!!

He didn't tell me how much fuel he wanted but I had 2k to spare! That was what I planned for cab. Where's he? Maybe the food he wanted was on transit. I sha paid and parked the car by the side of the wall! Someone's horn blared behind me saying I should park well! Sorry, oga, I can't do more than this! Oh! Thank God! There he comes!!

I saw her drive like she was about to leave! I rushed out before my no-money-situation turns to no-car-and-trek-home-situation. She moved over to the passenger's side and asked why I didn’t buy the food. I lied that they didn't have what I wanted! The puzzled look on her face said it all! Liar!! I asked her how much fuel she bought and she said 2k! Haha! I brought out my empty wallet like I wanted to give her the money! She asked me not to worry! My miracle finally happened.

For some reason, he became livelier! That Mr Biggs food aroma must have it effects! Good for him! An hour of sitting under the blaring AC had its own effects on me! Plenty air was in my stomach! I was uncomfortable! If I were at home, a simple loud fart would have saved the day but I was seated with a handsome dude I'm tripping for! A miracle, Lord, is all I ask! I squeezed my ass hole tight! Please don't come out now! I fear you would be loud and smelly!

Ehmmmm...I don’t know if I did something wrong but she had some stress looks on! She gave a one word reply to everything I said! I asked if she was ok and she replied with that pretty smile! Damn!!

Hold on, Nkem, you are home! He parked at my gate and we sat and talked for some minutes (or hours! E don do oga! I wan mess!) He asked me to sit tight while he opens the door for me! Wow!

My door refused to open! I tried again! This car has started again! It has this fault where all the doors jam and open only when it so pleases them! Not today, dear doors! I nervously smiled at her and she smiled back! Damn!! The only remedy would have been to wind down the window on her side and open the door from the outside but today, the window jammed too! Wow! Mine was down but the door couldn't be opened from the outside!

What the...? Not now! I have to fart! I need to fart! Please do something to your doors! Incantations! Biko! Abracadabra! Do something! I asked him to move to the back while I climb out through the window! He said he would climb out with me! Whatever dude!

She was in a huge hurry! Maybe she has a phobia for jammed doors! This window climbing is not a small something o! It took me 5 minutes to make it out! I apologised like a million times!

I couldn't possibly climb out head first! It has to be legs first! I didn't trust my ass hole to hold back this mess calamity! Heavens please! A little crowd had already built to watch! A step at a time girl! Just as I thought I've made it, I slipped and amidst screams, it came out in its full regalia very loud and clear! Right on his face! When I got my footing, I said a quick thank you and went away! I ran upstairs and peeped through the window and watched as he kicked and cursed his car! He climbed back in through the window and drove off!!
For days, I avoided going for lunch so I don't run into him.

We shared our first kiss five months, three weeks, two days and some hours later!! Lol
*winks*

I'm pregnant.

PING!!!

Junior, I'm pregnant. How do they do this abortion thing.

Junior took a while to reply. He finally did with a surprise smiley. Just answer the question damn it! How do they do this abortion thing. "When did you start having sex? I thought you were gonna wait a while eh nne? You're just 16. I could only imagine the confused and disappointed look on his face.

It's the end of the session. Thank God! We finally get to leave this shit hole called a school. I wondered how we even managed to keep our sanity staying in this cage for months. I always hated private universities. But my post UME score wasn't high enough to get me into a government school.
It took my bus 5 million years to get full after dragging my heavy boxes to the park.

I was super excited. Not just because I was living the prison yard called school, but because of Kosi. Choi! The mere sound of his name sef felt like the presence of the holy spirit. I remember the day I met him. It was on instagram; one of those mystery cute guys that send a direct message requesting to meet me. I got that all the time so there was really no biggy except for the fact that this particular cute guy (Kosi) asked for my number. The other guys usually ask for my pin. This instantly turned me on because I feel it takes a special kind of interest to make a guy ask for your number, load his phone and and call you for 20minutes. That's how long we talked when he called. " hello, I'm Kosi. You gave me your number 2 days ago on ig. Remember?" his voice was/still is the lightest male voice I've ever heard; quite girly but extremely soothing and so damn romantic. He was 26. Almost 10years my senior. That is exactly how I liked it. I always had interest in older guys. Couldn't stand guys my age anyway. I fell in love at once. I couldn't wait to tell my rommies about the latest catch.

1month and a few days later, he took some time off work to come visit me.

Aha!!! The last passenger, finally! Or so I thought. I looked at him like a Messiah as he approached the bus, shifted inside to make room for the messiah. Then he walked right passed the bus.

'madam how you dey sell your corn'

Ewo! Took me an hour to recover from that disappointment. We got on the road after another 5million years. I got to the hotel were we planned to lodge. That hotel room happens to be the creepiest and most dingy room I have ever slept in but who cares, when I was going to meet my mystery cute guy. I waited for what seemed to be forever for him to show up. I counted the ceiling severally and started imagining how the carpenters climbed to fix it, how there was this ugly art work on the table, how my small dead body could fit into the closet if Kosi turned out to be a killer, I quickly turned on my laptop before I thought up something crazier.
Finally his call came in. "Baby there's a chicken republic close to me, should I get us some food? I just got down from the bus" No thanks I replied. In my mind: 'Just bring your fine ass here already' we'd get food here. I regretted that decision because hunger almost killed me later. What was I thinking getting food from that kind of hotel.

He was everything I hoped for and more. So handsome and way taller than he looked in pictures. I was scared his lips were too big for his face but it turned out that he was just not photogenic, cos his lips were perfect. He was perfect.
I recognized him instantly when I saw him. He grinned from ear to ear showing off cute dimpled cheeks. I looked down at my toes when ever he looked at me. I decided to buy some alcohol to boost my confidence. Woke up the next morning not knowing exactly how the night went. We made out of course but I was too drunk to remember how it felt. Well we both went back home. Communication reduced after that day. It was scary but I wasn't so bothered because the hype for Kosi had dwindled. I still liked him but my feelings for him was different now.

He asked if I had seen my period on one of his calls. I replied "no". He asked a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th time. I had missed my period but I wasn't bothered at all. Why should I be? I'm a virgin. I only wondered why he kept asking. I always joked about it though until I woke up to a BBM message; someone dreamt I was pregnant. That's when the shit hit the turbine! I told Kosi, he said I should go do a test.
Damn! How do I go to a public place as small as I am and ask for a PGT?! But I didn't have sex, did he take advantage of me that night? But if he did I would know na, abi? Why was I so stupid to get drunk? My dad will disown me. Omg! Omg! Omg!

My paranoia worsened when I woke up the next morning and started throwing up. Ha! Who doesn't know that throwing up is the first sign of pregnancy. Even if you have never heard, Nkiru Sylvanus would have told you in one of her very many disgusting throw up Nollywood scenes.
I had to talk to someone. Junior is an eye doctor but he's the only one I trust with my secret. I told him everything. He said I'm probably just experiencing a delay but I should take a PGT to confirm and abortion wasn't the first thing to think of. I remembered Jesus. I prayed like Paul and Silas.

I mustered some courage to go take the test at the farthest clinic from my house to avoid running into familiar faces. In fact the clinic was in another planet. As I waited I prayed every kind of prayer. Then someone tapped me as I stood up. Oh no! Chai! Who could this be naaa! my heavenly father.
'Babe you're stained' huh? You're stained. She said again. Really? I replied with a smile ( she must have thought I was some lunatic but I couldn't care more) I ran to the bathroom. Usually this would ruin my day but I have never been happier to see my period. I was practically flaunting it sef.

I told junior the story. He laughed at me and said he was already going to name my baby Chioma.
I will never go close to the male species again, or so I thought!

Have a great weekend.