A week before Valentine, I was wondering what to do with my life on Val's weekend. I used to spend the day sitting in front of the hostel, watching babes laugh, cry, fight, swear, snatch, lie bla bla bla! Its always awesome! Once, a girl travelled to PH to visit her fiance only to meet her room mate who travelled a week earlier there! They both came back to school and fought everyday for over a month. Truthfully, that was the best val I've ever had! (Story for another blog post)
Well, its time to change how I spend my Val.
Thursday morning, all my friends left me o and travelled to various places - PH, Enugu, Abuja, US, SA, Obollo Eke, Ovoko, and the list continues! Ha! I no fit carry last na! I went through all my guys list..wait wait wait! Why did u just scream ah ah? Everybody has it na. Would my case be different? As I was saying, I went through my guys list, chai, as a fine girl my options seem so limitless. The only viable one in Benin has such a temper. The last time I visited him, he nearly strangled me for asking him to drive me home.
And so I called another pretending that I just called to say hi and just like expected, he invited me to come visit. Haha! I was excited! I asked him to send me money for flight and "...ehm ehm, why don't u use bus? I'll be at work all day. Just take ABC so by the time you get here, I would have closed for the day" was his well thought reply! I could imagine him scratching his head!
Friday morning I carried my two left legs to our dean's office and told him a ridiculous lie. Can't remember what the lie was but I'm sure it was foolish. He granted me my request though and I went back to the hostel whistling. Packed and left! I boarded Bob izuwa bus to ABA! Aba Ngwa! Whew! I was so excited! I dressed up like a queen..no! A princess! A queen sounds beautiful but old! I even wore heels! Haha! This Vals weekend gat to make sense!
Wait! Before we get all excited, I've never met this guy I'm on my way to visit! Not even on facebook! He just mistakenly called me and when I told him it was a wrong number, he called back to say, "I like ur voice, can we be friends?" Had nothing to lose so We became phone buddies! Truth be told, he's such a gentleman, on the phone o! He says the right things, sings to me when necessary, not married (so he said)... It was during one of those can-i-get-to-know-you-sessions that he told me he's a politician, has four cars, lives in a big house, not rich but way comfortable (well he's just being modest or so I thought) and an only child. He's aiit by my standards! He calls like mad which was why I wasn't surprised when he called every second of the journey! Some call it monitoring spirit, I call it care!
"Baby, what will you eat so I could prepare it before you get here?"
Just goat meat pepper soup, dear.
"Nne, how are you feeling? Hope the journey has been smooth."
Yes, love (even when my legs were on fire! What was I thinking when I wore this heel?)
Unconsciously, I started planning my wedding! Right in the bus! The color, the venue, my maids, the kinda car that he'll buy for me...awesome! I had this satisfied smile on my face. I giggled once in a while. Haha. Finally, I got to Aba! Aba Ngwa!!!! My first time there. I called him like ages before I got to Aba. He said he would be at the park, waiting. Lo and behold, he wasn't! I called and called! He said he's on the way! I looked at every car that passed and stopped! One tattered Peugeot 404 Opi Achara parked in front of me and I nearly fainted. Thank God, the driver continued his life's journey! What a relief! Ha!!!!
And suddenly, someone screamed BABY behind me! I turned and saw a 40 something year old man with shorts, tshirt and bathroom slippers running towards me. I shifted to the side so he would run to whoever he was running to! Ha! He stopped in front of me grinning from ear to ear, took my bag and placed on his left shoulder! I screamed! Don't blame me, I thought he was a thief! Where's the car? I forced a smile! I was still recovering from the shock when he stopped a keke, a very noisy one!!! Ewoooooo!!! I'm finished!!
He said things that I didn't hear! I wondered how long the night would be! I cried within! He was noisier than the keke! He said I love you at some point! The keke man said something in Ngwa. i dint understand but the look on his face said "silly girl"
We got to his big house! Well, the big house part was no lie! It was big! Big but old! Everything seemed like it was falling apart! The roof was brown, the windows were wooden and covered with cobwebs! I'm dead!! I sat on the cushion and nearly fell through to the ground! He laughed like he had no care in the world, pulled me out from the seat and asked me to sit carefully on the edge! Hei!!! The kitchen was another story! Dirty plates from two years ago stacked all the way to the agape ceiling. Where's the pepper soup? He pointed towards something brown...a fridge? "Is that a fridge?" I said it out loud before I realised I wasn't thinking it. Rusted is an under understatement. I touched the handle and it gave me a sound electric shock! I screamed! He came to my rescue like a white knight! He smelt like grease! (Abi na mechanic I dy follow?! I thought) OMG!!! I could have just gone to Kada like a normal person and watch film jeje! He apologised and opened the fridge himself. I expected to see a bowl of pepper soup that I can just easily microwave but what he brought out was uncooked meat. He hasn't cooked it? Omg!! Omg!!! Omg!!! Omg!!! I love cooking though so I wouldn't mind! Then he said the most heartbreaking thing, "We'll go to the market so you can buy stuff for the cooking. I also want to show you off". Show me off? At the market!? Omg!! To who?! I looked around, no gas cooker!! All I saw were three black stones with a black pot without handle on it! Oh no!!!!! I was irritated. He obviously didn't notice cos he kept smiling! I think I heard him say He would clean the kitchen later.
Well, I was hungry so he took me out to eat at a road side fly infested place! A big blue fly perched on my arm and I screamed. I ran out before they brought the food. The more baby he called me, the more I felt I should just slap him. What? What? What?
It was as we got back to the house that I saw his cars. He said 4, I counted 3 unless he's counting that 911 at the side as one! All of them were covered with dust. No tire!! No mirror!! No nothing!! Well, he has 4 cars!!
I went in and attempted taking my bath. Let's not go into what the bathroom looks like. I had to do rub and shine then went to the sitting room to watch a movie. No dstv, no hi tv not even that one with a big dish like a basket. He brought out a stark of movies! Thank God!! I went through them!! All porn!! I laughed within me. I returned it to him and asked if he had cartoon. It was his turn to look at me like I was joking. He didn't! I went to bed. I didn't forget to lock the door!
In the middle of the night, he knocked at my door. "Baby, please open the door. Are you alright?" Omg! I was scared beyond measure! All the stories I heard about Cynthia, runs girls killed, raped girls, ritualists... came to mind. He was at the door for almost an hour! I prayed silently! Then I felt something on my toe. RAT!!! I screamed! Not just one o! I remembered My mum! I almost picked my phone to confess to her and beg her to rescue me but thankfully I survived the night.
Before 5am, I was set to leave. I ran away before he even woke up.
He never called me again and I'm glad!
Happy lovers day in advance fam, Be safe....
